The Home Altar

It’s very easy to get heavily focused on preparing for a season, a holiday, a holy time. There is a way in which a lot of U.S. culture is built on both anticipation and desire. For a lot of us who still make our way through secular life as a part of our journey, we can find ourselves pulled in many directions. Parts of us scoff at the roll-out of seasonal decorations in retail outlets. Other parts of us begin to experience anxiety and angst as social preparation for special days and holy seasons call to mind navigating challenging or hurtful relationships with family, religious communities, co-workers, and even our own shortcomings.

There can be pressure to conform to social, religious, familial, or even self-imposed keeping of time that takes us out of the moment and sends us fearfully into memory, or anxiously into the near future with deep ambivalence as one season year draws to a close and another begins. We can spend more time being distressed by the “happiest time of year” than actually experiencing the glimpses of pure joy that can be found in the midst of all the sparkle.

When the holidays are more joyful than stressful, and we get to rest in the deep assurance of holy time, we’re confronted with a new challenge. How do I let go of this time and settle into the new and miraculous moment that is before me?

Interestingly, there does seem to be a lot of reflective activity in this part of the year, from year-end lists, to year-in-review synopses, to resolutions and re-dedication to a sexier, smarter, thinner, more well-read, wealthier, and more accomplished version of ourselves. What seems lacking in this moment is a an opportunity to bear witness and to engage with what is actually happening from the stillness of a contemplative head and heart space.

Each iteration of the special time, from the parties and feasts, to the solemn and sacred moments, was a gift in itself. Likewise, each moment of bidding goodbye to that special time, and gently giving thanks and savoring it is a gift as well. Because of the way the calendar fell this year, instead of the luxury of a Second Sunday of Christmas and a lush standalone celebration of the Epiphany, instead we had a twelfth night on a Friday, a feast day on a Saturday, and another feast on Sunday that marks the entry into “ordinary time” the weeks of prayer and practice that aren’t part of a special season.

In some ways though, it made this triple purpose weekend a perfect opportunity to engage in the practice of the mindful goodbye. To be thankful for what Christmas and the twelve days that followed had given in memories, relational moments, special encounters with wonder, and the joy of soaking up the soft glow of twinkling lights during a quiet night at home.

I found myself less focused on the “must do” and the “if only” of the time and space, and abiding in the happy little gifts of the holy time. Even in turning off those very twinkling lights and putting away decorations, ornaments, and nativities, I could feel myself both honoring the time and the experience. Thoughtfully putting everything away so that it will be ready to serve it’s purpose later this very year was a way of being present to both the sadness of the ending of a special time, and the awareness of the inestimable gift of the next day, hour, minute, second.

In lieu of resolutions, I’m spending my evening pondering a word that can shape my spiritual and personal practice, and help me as I ponder the mystery of the Divine. You can have a word picked for you too, there are plenty of tools out there like this one.

I believe that at the core of our practice is simultaneous unfolding of both “who we are” and “how we are” in the light of Divine Wisdom. These can often be much more challenging to sit with than “what else shall I do?” or “how can I become someone else?” As if there was some requirement for us to become something other than who we are in order to be the instance of incarnation that we are called to be.

Tomorrow there will be time to set up quieter candles and soft glowing stars to bear witness to this time we are entering. In the meantime, I’m staying present with the thoughts, feelings, and sensations of a gentle, thankful, and loving farewell for now.

Exercise

• If you’ve already done the physical chore of putting away the things for celebrating the winter holidays, what would it look like to lovingly review that task in your mind’s eye, taking time to be thankful for the moments and relationships represented by that time?
• If you’re receiving a Star word, setting an intention, or finding another way to reflect on “who you are” and “how you are”, who can help you to be gentle with your assessment? Who can help you be accountable to your values and sense of self? How might you invite Divine help and presence into this process?
• When is the next goodbye you can use to practice being present to the feelings, sensations, and thoughts that arise? What would it look like to greet those experiences with gratitude and curiosity?

Be gentle with yourself, you are worth it.

Peace and Everything Good,

The Rev. JM Longworth, OEF Spiritual Direction and Trauma Care

https://www.sdicompanions.org/sdi-profile/GreenMtFriarOEF/ To book an appointment: https://calendly.com/greenmtfriaroef

Being a Franciscan and a Worker-Priest in the wild means that I have a blended practice that incorporates spiritual and emotional well-being in a variety of settings, not just the physical foot print of a single congregation like some of my ministry colleagues. This has meant that it’s important to create anchored spaces, both in my environment, and within myself.

Pictured here is the home altar in the study of my apartment, which serves as a place for me to perform remote work for a homeless services organization, a session room for meeting with Spiritual Direction clients over ZOOM, and a place for reflection, meditation, and writing.

It’s also a popular nap spot for this little fellow, named Matteo, which means gift from God.

I keep on and around this space (there’s a wall of icons and meditative art directly behind it) items that connect me to my spiritual practices and devotional life. There are reminders of the Franciscan community that I belong to. There are prayer aids like beads and candles. There is a copy of the Bible for a form of meditative reading known as Lectio Divina.

Over the course of the next year, I’m hoping to use this space for practice reflection that I hope is helpful to others exploring what their daily, weekly, and seasonal spiritual practices are and could be. I’m also committed to providing some prompts in each post that are meant for ongoing journaling and reflection.

Who Am I?

I have dedicated my adult life to compassionate service with vulnerable neighbors. This has led me to take on a variety of roles and work as I live out this calling to be with and for others, while cultivating a contemplative consciousness to be lovingly present to the world as it actually is.

I have served as an interfaith organizer and later as director of operations supporting children experiencing abuse and neglect in the state of Connecticut. I spent 15 years in parish ministry in Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Vermont. I was a street chaplain helping to care for unhoused neighbors in the city where I live. As a part of that work, I co-founded the city’s first official drop-in daytime shelter and meal site with one of my ministry colleagues.

I serve on the development staff of COTS, the largest provider of homeless services in Vermont, whose program reach extends from daily drop-in space to permanent affordable housing. I love being able to support, affirm, and encourage not only my teammates, but the program staff that I support with my efforts. In 2023 I completed the certificate program for Philanthropic Psychology through the Institute for Sustainable Philanthropy in the U.K. This program focused on the potential for generosity work to help with personal identity transformation and psychological well-being.

I am a Spiritual Director and Pastoral Companion, with training from both the Daughters of Wisdom and the Still Harbor Practicum. I am particularly interested in the nexus between spirituality, marginalized identities, and religious trauma recovery. I continue to undertake coursework and study these topics, and I am considering pursuing a doctorate in this work. This work isn’t merely theoretical to me, as an LGBTQIA+ person who is also a survivor of both sexual violence and spiritual trauma, I see the profound value of both representation and skilled caregiving from within marginalized communities.

I am a life professed ecumenical Franciscan, a reality I described thusly in an article I wrote for the parish I attend for weekly worship:

As a life professed member of a Franciscan Order I wanted to share a little bit about what that life looks like.

Life under a monastic rule is not distinct from the life of all the baptized, and it may include people with a wide variety of vocations. The three core elements are: shared spirituality, a commitment to each other, and a commitment to a rule that shapes and informs the way we live out our Baptism together.

I make time each day for the daily office, for meditation and centering prayer, and to nurture relationships with my fellow siblings. My religious commitments are expressed in my work, ministry, and how I participate in my local community.

The question comes up, both inside and outside my community:

What do life professed, do?

Surely this question could be answered by pointing to any number of tasks that are the work of the Order:

Formation, Communication, Joint Committee, Servant Council, Bearing greetings and love to other Orders, etc.

We could point to our rule, our reports, our life of small gatherings, retreats, and the week of monastic residence at the annual Chapter & Convocation.

All of these things are true.

I would like to suggest that as Franciscans, we also embrace a common task that will be embodied in as many different ways as we have siblings:

We exist to provoke the conscience of the church and the world both through our unashamed proclamation of a Loving God and our fearless demonstration of that love to our neighbors. We are called to be so small that we could never make a difference, and so foolish that we are bound to make a dent. We are called to be hopeful in the mud puddles, joyful in the pouring rain, and grounded in God when all hell breaks loose. We are here to volunteer to be taken next. We are here to let others have the megaphone and we will skip to the margins of the crowd to put ourselves between harm and our neighbors. We are here to love each other without shame and to trust that our Spirit-Chosen family is a testimony to the powers that would splinter us into struggling households. We are here to be as wildly and unreasonably in love with God, as God already is with us.

As I “work out my salvation with fear and trembling” as Philippians 2:12 advises, I am grateful that I have such a beautiful chosen family to share in that adventure. I pray that if you feel drawn to explore your baptismal vocation in this way that you take time for conversation with one of the beautiful communities that is walking that way.

If you’ve made it this far, perhaps you’re exactly the sort of person who wants to subscribe here, and I’d love to support your journey in that way. I promised a relevant seasonal exercise, take some time in the week ahead to include these prompts in your reflections, whether you do that with a coloring book, a journal, a quiet walk, or another method that you use to be present to your thoughts and feelings in a compassionate way.

Exercise

What habits and practices nourished and sustained you this year?

What's something you're curious about trying for the year ahead?

If you felt like your favorite self at any moment this year, how did you savor it?

Happy New Year!

Be gentle with yourself, you are worth it.

Peace and Everything Good,

The Rev. JM Longworth, OEF Spiritual Direction and Trauma Care

https://www.sdicompanions.org/sdi-profile/GreenMtFriarOEF/ To book an appointment: https://calendly.com/greenmtfriaroef